THIS BLOG HAS MOVED

AS said before, this blog will be moved to my own domain.
Converting from blogger to wp format was a bitch, but its all done.

http://victor.xiongz.com
or
http://xiongz.com/blog

SEE YOU's THERE.

Live everyday like its your last =]

It's been quite a shit week. Nothing's been happening.
I downloaded a shitload of series, and been watching them all week basically. 24, and The Simpsons. Simpsons are finally on HD now and widescreen. It looks damn awesome.

The assignment that I was stressing about, was handed in. I think I have been put down for minimum contribution. So.. fuck it!, and I will just try hard in my End of Semesters.

BSXC is going to be on this Thursday, but people are all revoking their tickets and selling it. So I guess I wont be going to that.

My dads gone to china, and I feel free in a way.

Yea, dull week. The weeks have become a routine now. I'm getting sick of it, and time is going too fast. Don't know if its good or bad. Its just work, uni and watching series or MSN. I cannot FUCKING believe 12 weeks have just gone by for uni. 3 weeks away from Mid Year Exams.

From what I have said in the last entry, I am really considering doing a trip to a new country, and starting new. I had a dnm with Nick a few days ago, and I've come to realise, I don't want life to go the set way. Theres the person, who finishes their uni degree, get a job in the office, get married, have kids, buy a house, and get old, and die. I don't know if when they get old, they will be happy with how they lived their lives. For me, personally, I think they would have wished they done more.
I want to live a life of experience, start from scratch in another country, and work my way up. Working my way up as in persistance, if I fail, I will try again, and again and again till I can live a life. Living on the street if I have to. Find a job, change jobs, live by myself, I dunno, everything that can give someone some real life experience.

Also "Live everyday like its your last".

I reckon I am saying this, because of many failures in my life. Maybe if I had made it into USNW LAW, or some high shit, I would also live that cliche'd life.

Anyway, something for me to think about.

VictorXiong.

Esc.

Things have just been shit these few days.

Uni work..
Group assignments, just complete 0%, mother fuckers. For accounting have this viet guy, who is nerd, tries his hardest in all his subjects, studies, but I still get higher than him in the test. The thing is, he's in my group, and he call's me asking if I have started my part. I say, yea, I'll do it soon. Then he goes, yea, we all haven't started, but said that he tried starting it, and it was just too hard, and kept on leaving it. Okay, thats cool, thats stupid. He then goes to me, send me your part before 10 tomorrow, or I'll put you down as 0 contribution to the group assignment. Are you a fucking retard?, you haven't even started your part yourself, and you consider putting other people down for no contribution. Maybe if you were to act all leader like, you would've told me to start earlier, which I should have myself, but you don't put someone else down for 0 contribution when you go "I kept on leaving it because it was too hard". That pissed me off and I'm going to fucking go crazy if I get put down as a 0. Oh and its one of those weird viet guys. Same face as Jacky Chin, talks like him, acts like him, twitches, and just a fucking retard. That is what drives me nuts.
All other uni work has been pissing me off. I skipped economics last week, beacuse I didn't finish a marketing part. I am very behind in everything, and I don't even hope to pass some of the units. It's just so fucking stressful. My exams are in a little less than a month, and I know nothing. Economics, I missed all lectures since week 4, and don't GET jackshit, accounting, the NEW topics are just FUCKING crazy (failed my week11 quiz), BAS essay haven't started, and marketing, I have no IDEA whats going on. I'm totally breaking down. Either I have been procrastinating too much, or just being lazy, or maybe Uni is just not the thing for me.

For the past few days, I've been having deep thoughts of dropping out of uni, and continue working, and work through life of experience or something, not this uni shit. Uni really isn't the thing for me. I've had light talk to my parents about this situation, and they don't entirely agree, but my dad said if I come up with a business idea, or write a good business plan, he will be happy for me to leave uni. Anything is better than uni. Some nights I literally sit on the computer and bang my head against that table, pulling my hair out. I just dont FUCKING get it. I think I'm just a dropkick, too stupid for uni. It's wasting my time and wasting money.

Friends..
My personality is really shit. To be honest, my personality is weak. Even though I might be able to bash someone, or punch the shit out of someone, I just won't do it. I'm chicken?. On the party on Friday at Havana, Neon, nudged me on the shoulder. I pushed him back, and said fuck off dickhead. Well I've been hating Neon for the past.. what.. 3 years?. I pushed him again, then he goes, what you gonna do, I've got all my boys, outside, right here right now. What.. all those asian guys? I don't know, but I was pretty weak, I just walked off. For the past few days this incident just kept on making me think, what should I have done, should I have just punched him in the face, or what.. FUCK. SUCH a fucking tryhard. I guess, I wouldnt've punched him or anything, but whatever.
This blog is really getting personal, but it really makes me happier blogging it, instead of keeping it to myself.

Theres so many ppl that piss me off.
It might be just me, but I dunno.

There are just so many fucking retards in this world.

Work..
Work hasn't been great. It's getting repetitive as days go by. I'm getting so SICK of it. It's the same shit over and over again. It's just in and out, 8 hours go by. I don't know, I've lost all motivation. Work is just pointless now, apart from the fact of income.. lol , which is the whole point of work. I really just can't be fucked working. I lost family time, friends time, and most 'importantly' uni work time. I sometimes spend all shift thinking about uni work, and how I'm going to fail. Maybe it's time to look for a new job.
It seems I have problems with commitments. Oh well.

Richard told me his brother works @ Kirspy Kreme, and so he did. I saw him on Monday, and had a chat to him. Pretty random, but yea, he's just as cool as Richard. Lanky white guy, funny, and yea, "hey bro, come by and I'll hook you up with free donuts".

Anyway..
Another deep thought again, after this dropping out of uni shit, is just running the fuck away. Join the army. I really am considering it. It will fix up my personality, and might make me confident in life. But I didn't think too deeply. I was only thinking of going to another country, and starting a life out there. Going to the US, or England or something. I don't care, start bare minimum, no job, no place to live, but I want to experience my way up in life. That way, I will make the most of my life. I'd rather be sleeping in the gutter for a few months of my life, looking for a job, looking for income, and slowly building my way up. It may sound very stupid, but I am happy to do it. Though my parents would get weird about it.
Escape is my key world ESCAPE from everything.

Last week was pretty hectic. Assignments, work, and all that shit. Clubbing was alright , at Havana. Out side the club was preh weird. Gaybars, and guys holding hands, lesbians making out, trannies, and yea. Its Oxford Street.
Thursday was pretty random. I was late for uni that day, and randomly saw Frank at the train station. We ended up going to Parra nd chilled there for a while, because I already missed my tutorial when we got to Parra. Frank ended up jigging his Eco Tutorial too lol!. I also caught up with like Nickhuang/Revo/Jackiechan on friday.
But alot of things take my mind off things. But when I'm alone in the train, or just walking by myself somewhere, my head just goes crazy, thinking about this and that. It's really killing me.

ESCAPE!!

-Victor Xiong
p.s Shit long blog, but whatever. Soz.

Saturday was quite random. Woke up in the morning.. and Nick called up after finishing his exam asking me to go to the city.
Well, I did call in sick from work, so I was like, meh, haven't had a weekend off for ages. So I went to the city.
Basically played pool, and walked around the city.
I'm starting to feel the physics of pool :D
I nearly did a runner, but only did 5 balls in a row, then screwed up. Pool ends up getting tiring.. and yea. phased out after like an hour. We ended up meeting with Seano/Jared and Revo nd randomly saw like Garmon/Leith nd shit too.

But last night, we killed like 9 hours?.. Had dinner out too, then Nick slept over..
It really takes our mind off things I guess, killing time and all that. But facing uni/reality, it's really quite shit.

Anyway I'm finding myself with a huge problem now. I buy a fuckload of scratchies and lottery tickets. I don't know why, but it is quite like gambling. It's becoming a problem. Yesterday I spent over 5 dollars on scratchies. The last few days, I bought the powerball jackpot tickets and random lotto things. Spent like 15-20 bux on this shit over the past week?.
ARGH.
But haha, the powerball jackpot, I ended up getting TWO numbers out of 6.
If only I had one more number, I would've gotten atleast 200 bux.
THAT JUST makes me want to buy more!!.
Which I am next week.
I'm becoming a douche...

NEED QUITLINE.

Oh yea, I went to allans music yesterday..
I AM totally craving a classical guitar now
I disliked it for a while, but just recently, classical guitar really seems to suit me. Looking to buy one soon, a cheap one.
Theres this iBanez one with a cutaway on it, which I am looking at.
GAHH waiting for the stupid stimulus package to arrive!!

Anyways, time to do this ACCOUNTING assignment!

victor xiong.
p.s This blog is moving to www.xiongz.com/blog soon. I still haven't quite worked out how these blog codes work yet. Maybe in another week, I'll find out.

Woah, I haven't blogged for two weeks!

Just remembered about blogging...
I guess that's what uni work has been doing to me :(

Lifes actually been treating me alright lately.
Things are starting to get settled.., uni, work, leisure and everything.

My uni break was pretty shit though. I had work basically 4 days of the break, and the other two days, we had group work assignment meetings for marketing.., which ended up 1 hour and 3 hours playing snooker. Though, we did do quite alot of work. The other days, I just stayed at home bludging..., when I'm meant to get my business portfolio done, which I ended up starting on the last night. I literally stayed up to 5:20 AM, and my eyes were like sore as crazy. It was meant to be 3 months worth of work. Oh well.

Last Saturday was Alisons birthday party, which I forgot about. At work Sean calls me and tells me to go, and I was like fuck.., I didn't bring anything to wear. So that night I was just stuck in my work uniform. MEGA gay.. It was just clubbing I guess, and lots of drinking. I don't remember much..

I got my accounting results back that day too. I was pretty happy. Got 81/100, which is my second Distinction. Feeling pretty happy about it. I topped the Blacktown campus according to my teacher (that shows how dropkick Blacktown is). But in Parra campus, its different. Albert got 90/100 for Accounting, which I think was top of Parra. Wadda beast. High-Distinction!

These two weeks have been alright I guess. Things are quite balanced, apart from my uni work. I have an accounting group assignment due on Wednesday next week, but, I only have contact to 3 out of the 5 group members, because the other two.. don't turn up to tutorials?. A lebo guy and a blonde chick. Stressing like crazy about it. I don't know what to do, but argh, stupid group assignments. Though marketing is alright. We finished the poster, and all ready to present. Our presentation is in week 13 though. Lucky last :D

Oh yea, the past week I had the flu. Just having headaches/running noses/sore throats and all that. Feeling like shit. But at the moment, I'm feeling better. Still feeling a little weak though.

Anyway,
Just an update :D
g'nite!

happy birthday garmon.

IM YOURS!!

So it was the Jason Mraz concert on Wednesday night, which was amazingly exciting, and I've begun to like alot of his music. I went with Johnny, which we also thought.. GARMON would have went.
Garmon, I really feel bad going to the concert and you are seriously the only real Jason Mraz fan.. out of all of us, and I swear, even over the whole crowd. I'd say less than 30% are real Jason Mraz fans, and the other 70% are there just to listen to his hit "I'm Yours" or some other hit. And as you said, you know more of his music than both me and Johnny combined.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway,
The week has been pretty awesome, just full of random shit, and shit amounts of sleep.
Had a mad party on Sunday, which I don't even remember, but without any sleep, and after sobering up, went straight to the easter show. And stayed till the fireworks.
I absolutely collapsed when I got home. It was fucken awesome though, never done anything as stupid as that.
On the night before, I shouted Frank nd Sean pure Cuban Cohiba cigars. They were the fattest shit, but it was one killer puff. It tasted so damn warm nd good. But washed it off later with a few ciggies. Damn cigars are strong. But they are the shit.. they were $39.95 each, but I got it discounted to $35.00 haha. Actually felt like a high roller, you know those guys, with like a glass of scotch, rings on their fingers, and playing poker, while smoking a fat Cuban Cigar.
AHAHA - imaginations.

So thats that.

Tuesday was just study I guess, and catching up work, which wasn't completed the days before. Wednesday was uni, then after uni I caught up with like Raymond and Nick, and we went shopping!! wtf. Anyway after we played pool, Johnny nd I caught the taxi to the Concert..

These few days are just work I guess, my boss knew I had a holiday, so yea, I have 4 shifts next week, and another 4 the week after.

The UNI breaks are absolutely bullshit.
That is all I have got to say.
ALL my assignments, and group posters or watever, are due the week after the break.
And even from any other uni, the break is just full of 'catchup' and 'assignment' work.
ARGH, I can see alot of work coming up.

GRR gotta organise.

BYEBLOG.

updation

It has been a week, and to be honest, a semi-hectic week?

Tuesday, I spent all day at home studying for economics. Studied quite hard actually, and did some practice. Wednesday was the exam.

Wednesday, my dad had a business meeting in Blacktown, so YAY me and my friend got driven to uni, saved us the 1:30minute trip.
It was time for the economic exam (mid-semesters), which I was overly worried.
Walked out going fuck..., but still okay I guess. It was hard.
But I got my results back yesterday, and got 23/30.
Preh damn happy. Its a distinction for the moment , and its worth 30% of our whole economics sector.

So thats that.

Thursday, was the TSA day.
I woke up to a massive headache, but it started getting better later in the day.
Raymond nd shit came over and we got pimped up with gel nd shit before we left.
Had dinner at Menya, the day when I should've really bought the godzilla, because I really was hungry after I had my ramen.

So then we walked over to TSA.
The cruise was alright I guess. It wasn't much socialising, but it was just drinking for me, and a few friends I guess.
I spent $175 or so on the boat, just for drinks. It was like a drain.
But I shouted many people.

After the cruise, we basically walked around the city.
Randomly popped up at a sausage sizzle stand.. 1AM in the morning. We had our snacks, and moved on. We also had a vomiting friend.. Raymond, who vomited once on the boat, and 3 times off the boat.
Terrible
So thats that.
Basically all night was just random shit.
I went to space, which the chick to guy ratio was 5:50.
Leaved that place and went cityhunter to sleep. (Meaning I fell asleep on those comfy chairs, even though I paid for .. I forgot how many hours.)
Then at about 4AM, Bond drove us home.

I needed to sleep so bad.
Work was on, so yea, I didn't want to get fired.

Nickhuang tagged along and slept over. Which overly surprised my parents when they thought it was me on the sofa.
So after that we went lunch, and I went to work. (PISS TIRED).

Got home, and slept straight away.

Saturday, was basically work again, and just chilled out. I was going to go poker, but just relaxed instead. Roger came over in the morning, randomly..
Picked up the poker set to go Kevin Bai's house
I was really amazed at Ware's BMW. He drove by and drove us to Hurstville.
Preh sexy fking piece of shit.
Then Matt drove me to the airport... from Hurstville when I saw him.
Random day lol.

Anyway,
Been a hectic few days,
More to come

Peace out

Sick

Well, I am now sick!
Feel like shit, and yea, taking medicine!

Economics exam coming up on Wednesday!
Don't know how I am going to cope.
Study study study.

Although, I made a trip to the bank today, and applied for a credit card.
Something that was on my list when I turned 18.
And after a vigorous half an hour of waiting, verifying, I was approved for $1K.
Now, the wait for the card to arrive :D
So that made my day pretty happy.

Anyway, I am off to study now.

BYE BLOG

Mega

Woah.

I had a long talk with Priss last night, and found out some VERY weird things.. which is mega coincidental. WE were like.. HOLY fking shit.

So yea, she went to MLC and I went to Newington for primary school. I just found out she went to MLC. And so I was like.. so since primary school?
Newington and MLC had a dance or a 'social' in year 6, where they had a circle and we had to dance with everyone, and do different dances, and basically got to know everyone sorta thing. How weird. So yea, we HAVE somehow danced before, and we have SOMEHOW seen each other before LOL. It was like.. holy shiet.. woah.. this is scary haha.
I've know her for about a year now, but it may have been longer! haha
We showed our year 6 pics. It was so roflmao.

Anyway, some people might not find that amazing, but its jaw-dropping for me. I'm just gonna WTF for a bit now.
It's like one of those long lost friend sort of thing. Or a friend that we never knew.

So anyway, OFF TO WORK now.
Fuck.

Victorday

=D
I am finally 18!
A big step up in life.

Today was my mid - semester accounting exam. I might be over-reacting, but I have never felt that good about an exam for ages. Did every question, understood everything, and the fact that I wrote notes, highlighted and re-read it over and over again :D, I walked out the exam room jumping for joy.
I guess Kenny was right!, good lux on b'day :D

So today, was my 18th. I really didn't have much to do. My exam finished at 4:30 PM, and my dad drove me home from that shithole. Got home at like 5:50. We went Sizzler. Man that shit is filling. So yea, that is basically my day :D
I got a few messages and facebook happy b'days, which also made my day happy :D.

I am hoping to do some things soon. Maybe casino, clubbing, pokering, and etc.

AHH finally 18 =D

Anyway,

I will finish my awesome day off with a nice sleep now.
LAME>

Bye.

WednesThursday..

Wow, there's a new pattern of blogs every two days!

Hope to follow that soon.

Nothing has been happening these two days.

Yesterday was just a whole day at home. I wanted to leave for the library, but I didn't end up leaving home at all. I had 4 glasses of Tea, and couldn't sleep until 5AM this morning. And I had uni @ 12, meaning I had to leave home at 9:30. Felt terrible!. Note to self: Never drink tea at night.

So yea, exams are coming up on Saturday. But I can't help but think about my 18th birthday too! And I finally caught up with Kenny last night, we promised we'd catch up very soon =]. He also said that if I had an exam on my birthday, that means I'm going to pwn it :D.
Ahh, all these superstitions.

It is extremely stressful though. This is actually quite major, the 'Mid Semester' exams. Oh well, I am going to do some study now.

- Victor Xiong

*EDIT*
I will be moving blogs soon.
I'm setting up a blog code on my own domain www.xiongz.com
Figured it'd be such a waste of domain.

And If only I could move this blog over haha
I shall find some way

I had a dream..

... that I wish I never woke up from.

Last night I had an awesome dream. Probably won't type it on here though.
But I woke up and I was like... woah...
It was about money by the way, nothing kinky, if thats what anyones thinking.

So yea, thats that.
Today was pretty random. I haven't played the piano since my last HSC. So say, 6 months?. It felt so weird, and honestly my piano playing is all deteriorating. I feel so sad about this now, but I think I should get back to it.

Yesterday, I tried my hardest studying.. or maybe not my hardest, but tried to. Didn't go very well, as I ended up watching a movie, and just slept. My timetable isn't working very well after all.

I will gradually get into it though.
I have my test this Saturday. Odd day isn't it. A good day for my 18th birthday too.

Today, I went to the city, and supposedly studying, but yea, we played a bit of pool, and checked out a few party venues.

After that, caught the train home with Sean, and basically chilled at the station food court for like an hour. Tired as... lol
I went to the library after, and went for 55 minutes, before the lady starts screaming "LIBRARY IS CLOSING, PLEASE LEAVE".

Not very good.
I will get to study now.

G'NITE

Shrillax.

Well, nothing has been happening.

Friday, was just a chillout day, watched some movies, and nothing really.
Saturday, woke up and worked!. Then went to sleep after I got home. What a day eh.

Although, that night, I have made something really interesting to myself. Its the '100 things to do before I die' list, and I plan to accomplish all of these. The list includes things like, "Go to Europe, Start a new business, Own a Hendrix Monterey Guitar, Bungee Jumping", and like 95 others. Once I have achieved this list, from what I gather, I will have made the most of my life. And yes, this list is all realistic, not the shit ones you see "get rich, be famous" sort of lists.

I also made a timetable for myself. A personal and weekly timetable, which really puts in everything. This is my first step of being organised and succeeding and overcoming laziness. I'll upload a picture along with this blog.

---
Also recently, I've been having deep thoughts about my personality. I really don't know what I am, and what I seem to other people. I see myself as quite a different and strange sort of person. But ahh, I will pinpoint this someday, and blog it. It does quite bug me sometimes.

Anyway, today, was just normal, had work again, and got offered sushi again by Tom's mum. Man next time, when I do get hungry, or if I don't have money, I'll go get something there, like chicken or something.

Lastly,
I recently been having a hard time deciding on what cruise to attend to next week.
Theres the BSoc Cruise, and the TSA Cruise.
The BSoc cruise, is mainly people I know that go there. Like the group, but then theres people like N.S, K.C, and etc, many to name.
I'd see my time getting ruined, but the cruise with alot of friends seem alright.
But then theres TSA, which again, has quite a few people I know. The cruise seems so much better, in terms of the boat and shit. The pictures of this boat just makes my jaw drop.
The "Starship" pontoon is what its called.
The boat is also Taiwanese, which I don't fit in, but I love their people (girls) I mean.
But argh, I don't know what to pick.
It's quite hard to choose.
I'm really worried if I go BSoc, something will happen, especially when there's going to be alcohol involved.
And I've been having weird imaginations, of bringing a knife and putting it in my shoes, or a hidden pocket, and if anything happens, yea.., lets not get there.
I'm scared I will turn into one of those Hanning peoples, that will just snap one day.
I can really type the truth here, this shit has been building up in my head, and theres still room to build, but it WILL snap one day.
I can feel it.

But anyway,
Blogs over!
I'm happy! again.
Nah, things are fine just the way it is.

Anyway,

I'm off to sleep.. late again.

Good'night!

fuck you..

So I realised, it's been two weeks since I last blogged.

These two weeks haven't really been great, but I'm guessing it's just pressure being built up from university, and some friends haven't been really great, when I was at Sean's party.

So, first things first.
I have realised, that I need to catch up with alot of people from high school. People who I use to talk to heaps, but recently haven't because we aren't in high school anymore. I talked to Raymond a few days ago, and it was cool, so we're deciding to go for a game of pool and some coffee. So, I have made a resolution to go through a list of people, and maybe catchup with them soon. It just feels great, because it won't feel like high school was the only place we were friends, and also, keep in touch for longer.

Second.
I am trying to type formally, for a reason I don't know.

Third.
Last week was pretty standard. Time feels like its going extremely fast now. I have thought about this so many times, and it's crazy. Especially having two days of university a week, and two days of work a week, the other 3 days are spent catching up homework. Our teacher was like, "Okay, it's week 5!, we have a quiz today!". I thought, week 5, wow, you got to be kidding me... But, actually, I have settled into university very well, and things are working out great. I got 100% for that quiz that we got too, but sadly, it's only worth 2.5% of our whole semester. The test was also bull-shit, it was 4 questions, of addition. Oh well, it's a good start.
Time has really been bugging me lately, and I can see, university will be very fast. Easter is also coming up soon, and we'll have our week's break. Fast eh..

Fourth.
Sean's birthday party. It was something I had been looking forward to for a while, as I haven't had time to really let myself off for a while, and party, or just hang out with a big group of friends. That day was an awesome day. In the morning, I met up with Frank, and we went to the City, to buy Sean the gift, which was a brand new Bass Guitar set. Sean kept on calling me, asking me to help set up his last minute party, but dodged it so many times, that he started getting irritated and pissed at me. But, I still didn't end up going to help him.
Moving on, Frank and I went home, and we tagged the guitar, whilst signing a card. Then after, decided to play a game of pool, and purposely go to Sean's party late, so we can surprise him with his Bass Guitar. Straight after I gave him the guitar, Frank handed me a bottle of Smirnoff, and I went straight to it, and skulled what was left in the bottle. I should never have done that, but I did, and couldn't help it. My head started spinning, and damn I felt so good. I had a few gulps of Vodka too, from some other guy.
That night, many people chipped in for Sean's gift, and signed the card, and was all going fine. Though, I was a little tipsy, things started going wrong in my head. I started getting angry. Firstly, I did not want to hear a *guy* next to him, go "Fuck it man, don't chip in", when I asked Frank Wang, if he wanted to chip. Now, I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but the money is not for me, and what?, your not getting the money?, or are you just a little FUCKED UP in the head?. He was also smoking that night, which I least expected from. But mate, I don't know what's your problem, fuck wit. Maybe if I was homeless, or if I was begging, then say that. I know your life is full of 'fuck it man, fuck this, argh fuck that', but not to me.
I got really angry that night, even though it might have been something little. What also pissed me off even more was smoking, he was like *puff puff*, and gives that stare. I have no idea what image you are trying to portray, but no one looks up to you, should try harder next time.
Anyway, the gift.
It actually costed me quite a bit, but I was surprised at the amount of chippers. I only have about $130 left to pay off now.
I was also talking to Priss, or Iris or something, when they asked if I had any food. I actually wasn't feeling hungry at all, and all day too. I actually had the flu that night. So I was like, nah, I actually hadn't had anything that whole day, no brekkie, no lunch, no dinner. Half a picnic bar was what I had. So thats that. *he* walks past, and goes, "something to be fucking proud of?, huh?". I turned around, and I was like.. ?.. I dunno if I should have been cut. Maybe.. It was because I was holding a Smirnoff bottle, which I just had. But later that night, he also paid me back the formal after party money, so I was cool about it, and chipped $5.00 in, as in all he had ($40.00 note). He wasn't very happy though. Clearly remember him saying, here, take the fucking money. But now that I have my money back, I actually hope to never associate with him again. He hasn't been the ideal person for me to ever talk to, since the whole of high school. He'd act cool one moment, but one moment he'd be all 'hey your a loser' sort of thing, and give me these stares. I don't know. It's just really dick to me sometimes. He had a fucking flick knife on him that night too. Now would I have said "something to be fucking proud of?". Argh, so many people that night, I'd say 5-6 people, I really had the shits with, in my head.
We went karaoke that night too, which was alright. I had a headache for the rest of the night, and the last thing I needed was people singing and loud bass ringing in my ears.
Some people just really pissed me off that night. I don't know what it was, but it actually was stuck in my head for the whole week. I won't be naming names on the blog, but argh, it's been terrible.
Overall the party was great.

My shift started 5:00AM the next morning, but I was still at George Street McDonalds at 5:40. I got home, showered, and went straight to work. And as soon as I got there, my boss was standing in front of me. I arrived at 8:20AM. But after a long scream he had, I was on my last warning, and will get fired?. I really don't know what'd happen if I did it again.
Work is cool now, theres actually someone I know at the airport now. Tom Lee's mum!. We often have a little wave at each other when I pass the sushi stand. She'd offer me free sushi, but I'm always like, nah, it's okay. Firstly, I'm allergic to seafood, and secondly, it's not nice to ask/take food.
My second day of work was quite hectic. I got off my '400' bus which dropped me off at T3, where I heard loud sirens, and saw ambulances and federal police cars and vans racing across the road opposite where I was standing. I stood still and thought it might have been a terrorist attack. So then I start walking towards my terminal, T2, which was just 50 meters down the road. While I was walking, three policemen come storming out of the Virgin HUB exit, with their hands on their guns, ready to shoot, and running like crazy, towards T3. When I actually got to work, I picked up my talky, and heard security screaming "Need guards here now, NEED GUARDS!"
I really wanted to go check it out, even though I was 3 minutes off my sign in time. I didn't end up going.
The talk then started, about the shit, and I was relieved it wasn't a terrorist attack.
It was just a huge brawl/fight.

But as I got home, it showed on the news, a man was murdered.
Damn that was weird, hearing shit like that.
I have really come to realise, airport security is really useless, apart from screening people and finding 'shit' in peoples bags.
I reckon they could've stopped these mofos who smashed that guy and killed him, but was just too scared to. Truthfully, they're all fat-shits, and about another 70% of them are Indians (not in an offensive way).
Though, security aren't allowed to carry guns or any form of weaponry, which I find extremely stupid. I know these people have rifles and pistols, stored in an emergency safe, in the basement, but I think they take this out for.. terrorist attacks?
But anyway, it was one weird day at work. Lol.

Fifthly.
This week was quite a high pressure week, and not to sound like a girl, I have broke down a bit. Firstly thinking of some friends thing, and stuff, alot of hatred built up. It's good no one reads this blog, except for Garmon. It's funny, how we don't even talk that often or much, but through our blogs, we really know what's up. But the thing is, blogging shit like this really makes me feel better.
One afternoon, I was really just sitting there, looking blankly at the computer screen, and things just went spinning in my brain. I cried a bit?, or not really, but like, it was just that feeling. It was the sort of feeling that I'd imagine myself jumping off a cliff, or just punching the shit out of everyones faces.
Anyway, this week, thoughts, and assignments have been the real killers.
Monday/Tuesday, we had an assignment due, which was a "Summary/Evaluation" business report. Okay, I got that over with. It was due 12 noon, at any campus. So my dad drove me to Parramata Campus, as he had a Business meeting with someone there. I got there, and bang, there was a 50-60 meter line, coming out of the hand-in reception. I innocently lined up at the very back, till I saw Femo. HOW RANDOM. He was actually 10 people away from the hand-in place, so I ran to him, and lol!, 5 minutes, the whole thing was done, and handed in.
My dad gave Frank a lift back to Hurstville, and we caught up a bit on the car. We both do exactly the same classes, and courses, which was good to hear. We could exchange some homework :D. He's also wanting to transfer out of UWS soon. We're all really in the same boat here. I can't wait till I transfer out of UWS, and go to an actual university, which is good. That kept me thinking for a while.
My dad hardly even recognised him. He knew him since year 4, and our parents back then were actually close?, or like talked heaps. He also smelt like smoke, which kind of got my dad sus.
Femo changed alot since year 4. James An was cool, and he use to fully participate in class, and was into this whole 'OC class' or 'Selective' school shit. Well, we 'all' were, and we all tried hard, but wow, it's interesting, how we really just didn't get into the best university our parents expected.

Accouting (Wednesday), the night before, I was really pulling my hair out! We had a progress report due the next day, and we had NO idea what to do. But managed to get that over with. I did the homework too, on the train, when I copied in all the answers from my friends.

Then marketing Portfolio was due, which was 5 week's worth of assignments and reports, which goes to the portfolio. Did that today, in 4 hours break.
But now, this week's university is over, I feel so damn relaxed. I jump for joy at times like this.
Oh, and this morning, I'm not sure what I saw at Ashfield, as my train was passing the station, but the whole station was closed, and there were ambulance crew and police crew there. There was a body lying on the ground, with a white blanket put over him/her, full body. It sent a slight chill down my spine, but, damn.., what happened?

Anyway, I finished this week off, with a game of pool with my university friend, who miraculously knows Matt Day too. We called Day for a game of pool, and caught up. It was quite strange, how small this world is, but it's cool. And now, I'm home, and wow I feel very good.

I don't want to be that little bitchy guy who always writes random shit on blogs, and bitch about life, but this really makes me feel better.

Quite a long blog this is.

I'm off.

Victor Xiong

bloga

so.. its been a stressful week
ive been having a twitching right eye, like under it.. and twitching like crazy..
to the extent my image starts twitching too
its so bad..
and i read online, it says i havent had enough sleep/ and stressed.
i guess its from uni.
preh crazy, the amount of work and coping
i feel so behind now, like .. i dont know where to start again to pick up everything.

anyway last week was cool
friday.. went to the city with jared.. and went record shopping again..
i bought heaps of cd's again.. hahaha

saturday.. frank came back from canbera!
so yea, he called me early int he morning.. and hes like lets go city or something
i had work in the morning from 5-1..
so after work i went straight to the city.. and chilled
sean was there too
we played a few games of pool, got dinner
and met a few of franks ANU friends..
which are from sydney anyway hahaha
then went to the mardi gras..
it was extremely random, first year ive been haha
gay police men, gay ambos, gay everything hahaha
and man so many drunk people at hyde park

the hype of it is really good
helicopters, loud msuic, flashing lights, dancing
yea it was all cool
but had to go home early.. because of work the next day hahaha
oh well, it was cool catching up with frank
it had been like 3 weeks lol.

monday.. was my last business lesson with the uni, because the 'lectures' only go for 3 weeks
so no more mondays :D
haha
now i only got two days of uni a week.

tuesday.. studied heaps

wednesday.. finished uni and went to play pool with friends
and went home atlike 7... and started the marketing essay due the next day
GG

thursday.. uni again.... boring..

and friday:D
was just boring too
at home.. doing nothing
went city in the arvo chilled out.

man i want to soo do something soon.. lifes been so boring.

seanos party is next thursday.. and im like... fuckkkkkkkkkkk,, i have uni till 8, and i get there at like 10..
the party goes till 11
!! :(
gayest shit
and ppl arent gonna drink
haha
because most have uni lectures on friday morning......
oh well.

anyway, thats a weeks summarised

out.

so not much been happening
coping well with uni i guess
tuesday,. had a whole day to do the homework, but left it till like 9 at night
and slept at 1 am LOL!
so yea, homework due wedensday morning at 9am.
so thats that, then wednesday was just.. bludgy
then i hard a marketing essay due for thursday..
started at night again!, and slept at 2am.
handed it in thursday morning.
thursday was preh cool, because i finish at 8 on thursday.. it was preh dark, and quakers hill is really fuckered at night..
so i got driven to strathfield station!.. and LOL, strathfield is like 40 minutes away by driving.
i was like.. holy shit..................
then after i caught the train to central.

guess what happens.
well judging by what happened 3 days ago.

anyway, get to central station
EXACT same spot
peter cook pops up.
i mean, what the fuck?
i didnt say hi or anything, but stared at him.. just incase the same thing happened.
and it was really him!!
dude, these coincidences scare me

so yea, caught up with him

haha when i saw him i was like
fuck should i say hi or not.. it might not be him again

but yea, preh funny.. he admits that they both cop a bit of shit, looking exactly the same.

anyway, sleepy
gnite

lol double post

man just read through the old shit
i thought that maybe 6 months ago wouldn't be so long, and if i read it, it wouldn't really mean anything.., but wow, June last year till now involved some preh crazy shit..
graduation made me emo again.. a bit lol,
the hsc.. wow fuck things have changed..
i was soo fucken worried about the aftermath of the hsc and results,
but now im happy as ever, well not really, but wow, i pulled through last year!
the formal.. wow, that reminded me of random shit..
the bonfire?.. what the fuck lol, i can't blv that happened to me, feels completely odd

but yea, reading this shit, made me realise how much shit i've copped and been through..
and the random fights with koreans. haha (not racist).

anyway, got a new template.. looking sexy i hope.

OUT again

and so, its been another 2 weeks since i last blogged and alot has happened.

today, was just fucked, and made me feel shit for the rest of the day. at central there was this guy that looked EXACTLY like peter cookie.
and i was like, hey peter, peter!!, and he looks at me, peter?,

i'm not peter sorry.

then he was like, peter, yea, peter goes to my uni, cook o'neil right?
and i was like.. what the fuck, thats coincidental.., theres a guy that looks like peter, but isnt, but knows the other peter, which i thought was him. but man, it was awkward haha, and amazing, in terms ofcoincidence.

haha it was one of those situations where u'd want to bang ur head onto the wall.. or jump on the traintracks or something

haha.

so yea, thats today..
today, was just uni i guess, lecture, and home. short day.
spent all morning watching that tropfest DVD i got from the smh

on saturday.
preh good films.

unis alright now, theres someone that catches a train with me now, ALL the way to hurstvile, and he lives in engadine.. LOL, so i'm not the only one that lives that far.
depressing.. the ride is like 2 hours.
we're both like motivated by the fact of how far the place is, and that we will transfer out of this shithole.

anyway, the past few weeks have been quite interesting..
orientation day at uni..
it was preh random, like .. it was far, but okay, got there, there was a street, with like 2 shops open and the rest smashed, and graffittied.
and ppl in the uni are like
haha u made it alive!
and iw aslike fuck you

lol,.. i might be over exxagerating but yea, its just as bad..
there were emus running across the soccer field..

and omg, during orientation, we had an indian lady..
ok, she had an accent, lol.
so the lebo guy picks up the fone in the library and starts talking.
yalla bro, just blah blah blah.
the indian lady, starts going,
ok, firstly you shouldn't have your phone on, and secondly you shouldnt be talking so loud..

the lebo guy starts imitating her indian accent from start to end.

and i was like
oh my effing god..
its the first day, and its orientation day.

that just shows what some of the ppl are like in the uni
but at the moment, things are going kool, meeting alot of new ppl,, and an asian chick, who seems to be the only one , out of 100, and like 2 asians out of 100 people.
preh funny

nothing much else happened, uni just basically started, and we're straight into it i guess
coping alright with everything

went to one of my dads conferences a week ago, free food i guess, for the day.

and omg.. i'm going through a phase now, which i don't particularly like..
which is buying cd's, and collectable vinyls.
on friday, i went with jared to the city, and wtf, went jbhifi and bought a FUCKload of cd's
i bought john mayer cd's, jason mraz, michael jackson, daft punk,
and all originals.
i bought this collectable vinyl of daft punk, the 'discovery' album. oh my god, its so good.
i ordered a michael jackson thriller 25 anniversary vinyl, which is 'rare'. it has his face and signature on the vinyl, and its playable with the original music, but the guys were like, u shouldn't play it, it'll scratch off everything
im guessing if michael jackson dies, in a few years or decades time, the vinyl will be worth a fuckload.

anyway, im inclined to buying cd's now, instead of downloading..
i dont realy know why.., maybe its because i have money now, or that i just relaly support the artist haha.

jason mraz is coming to town!
awesome!
and so i log onto the website and find out how to get tickets
and wow, i end up in playbilvenues.com, which dang, was a supporter/buyer of that shitty bonfire i had a few months ago.
so i call him up,
"so how many tickets you want"
and i was like what the fuck?
how much..
"free"

so yea, preh feeeking awesome
so johnny trans prolly going , and garmon (who supports the artist, is paying full fee! good on ya (y)). and garmon and his friends are all going.
i think we're gonna be seated with them..
dunno.

anyway, that was one longass blog..

goingto do some uni homework...........
really.

woah a month since last blog

totally forgot about this thing

now im back to it.

recap..
first thing
enrolled into uws blacktown
realsed how fucken far it was..
like i thought it was just blacktown, but then its "quakers hill/schofields"
like wtf!!
thats not blacktown at all
last time i went parra to the guitar place, that took 1 hr and 40 minutes.. and i was going crazy..
now that i think, uws, daily, and its parra + 5 stops
jeeeeeeesus.. im gonna die
but LOL, it is motivational, i will try my hardest to get myself out of that fuken shithole
and i cant blv it, the O'week' for uws, is a week, 10am - 4pm, and like.. u do a day of random shit and u go home..
uts have camp
unsw have social games/activities
and luckiest of all .. frank miao at national uni
dorm parties/social events/and a whole week of games/fun/activities
uws really is a shithole , and now i do regret things..
oh well.

second thing
yesterday was my last day of work which requires fulltime.., and i cant blv it.. from after my last exam of the HSc, my boss calls me on that exact day and asks me to go work..
and then literally did fulltime all the way through to now, and now, uni starts..
i missed so much shit during that time :(
oh well
its a relief now its over
i only have to do 9hrs minimum a week now
beautyyyyyyy.

third thing
went poool soo much these past 2 weeks..
went 4 days in a row, then like 3-4 times after that over 2 weeks..
like omg.. ahaha.. i came off work early just to play lol!
addictive much..
and its all bcz of frank
so anyway, one night, after pool, we went home.. and walked past the country train station.. and saw a train to melbourne
and we're like
WTF LOL.
so yea, after that, next day, we bought tickets and decided to go to melbourne.
random mcuh?
the strathfield line was closed, so we detoured to a longer route..
then when we got to hurstville/penshurst.. and the driver speaks throught he PA
"Sorry about the delay, there was a log on he tracks ahead of us"
and yea, they spent like 20 minutes removing it..
like wtf..
how does a log just turn up on the tracks like that..
so that delayed even more..
then we got to albury..
the train stops and terminates,
"sorry bushfires ahead"
so we caught a bus
throguh the bushfire
and into melbourne..
and yea, a big delay too lol

pretty random..

so we got there.. relaxed..
slept?
anyway, went melbourne jail/parliamen/skytower/skydeck or watever u call it, / karaoke/daytona machines/dfoshopping/ and lol randomest shit. most of the shit we do in sydney.. like daytona and K.

but yea, overall a really kool trip
lots of gold shit happened.. funny asss

so thats that

anyway
thats a rough blog
hah

will be blogging more often again
if i remember this thingy

dullness

well dull indeed.

ive been getting preh emo lately, with friends nd shit
i just dont see them anymore..
and i feel like ive been living at the airport.. and doing the same old shit day by day..
argh.. dull indeed.

motto.. eat sleep and work
fuck..
and whats made me even more emo is people on facebook going

UNSW!!!

comm law USYD!!
and like fuck?

everyones got something good
i feel outcasted, but i deserved it.

ahh i dunno, things just feel different now.

going to uws really feels pointless for me at the moment.
i dunno if im even gonna try..

--

well the last few days have been preh good
my usual monday and tuesdays off weekly

monday.. hung out with frank
haha just came back from japan/china
went allans music/guitar stores in the city..
then went wagamama for lunch... and again... its so damn good there
teriyakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
and went for a few games of pool..

so that basically killed the day..

tuesday.. i just stayed home.. and ps2'ed?
fuck... so lame

and omg..
a while ago my motherboard fried, and went brown/orange..
and now after waiting 2 months, for warranty/processes, i received it..
but now what?
my video card fried too
thats just fucked up luck
im gonna go try the video card with the company and see what happens..
i think might have to wait another 2 months
im gonna explode soon.


giiiiiiiiiiiiid nite

victor

this blog will continue until further notice
ahah garmon wtf!

aynway
lifes been preh shit with parents
they know im behind in school work nd shit, so now theyre bugging the fuck outta me, to study..
now, study, where do i start
what the fuck do i study
theyre justlik
ur gonna fail uni, study
i feel like year 11-12 all over again
i got pissed a few times too.
esp at this time, who the fuck is gonna study..?
and esp a fulltime job, i cant be fuckered.

arghh...

but on the lighter side, i have a newer promotion for work
gonna be managing a greater team, size wize..
and fuck baby haha.. getting 20.60 p/h now
and sat sundays i get the 1.5 and 2.0 rates

shall save up for something good soon

and omg.. now that im working so much
im missing out on so much fking shit..

ushans party was today
missed it because i had work
argh i feel so bad
and i know thres like a billion other outings, pokrdays and shit.. but haha i had to knock off so many that ppl just dont call anymore
im gettin a bit emo now over this


anyways seeyous

2009...

whats to come?
a whoooooole year ahead of us......
its like a long ass road ahead.. where you cant see the end
but things willl come up..

anyway. ive made my choice to go to UWS Commerce..
then plan to transfer into another good uni.

so thats over with,

i havent been up to much, its kinda been slow for me..

working was prolly th most ive been up to

i spent 3 days after new years off, and spent it with family, and it was preh kool

oh yea, on wednesady.. i had a poekr day
that was preh fun
johnny came over in the mornin.. nd guitared a bit, then the rest of the guys came..
we had a full 8 player poker game
but i got knocked out first.. hahahah
i had a triple 10, and viray had a flush, but i had my triple on the river..
but i tried bluffing but he called :(

ahahah died....

but yea preh fun
we played a bit of nbalive 09

next mornin.. had work

and today..
just stayed home
my parents bought me new shoes :D

got work again tomorrow,..
5AM shift
so i gotta wake @ 3 again...........

anyways out.

resolutions

well not really, havent thought of any..
maybe.. get into uni?
i dunno @ all.

this weeks beeen preh hectic
actually not really,
monday tuesday was just work..
and sick during work..
so yea.. i went.. and did paperwork and computer work instead..
nye was preh awesome..
went to ryanszetos
pokering/basketball/wii/shouldve swam../guitar/ and ryans collection of spirits
oh man there was everything..
french vodka, pure bicardi (75%).. i dipped my finger and i felt it tingling.. and when i sipped it.. my lips went numb
anyway.. there were like 9-10 different random drinks.. whisky/etc.

didnt get drunk though.. so all good

stayed up all night.. missed the fireworks (LOL)
and.. didnt sleep at all.
and wats funny, i stayed up,
work @ 12... which was today
and now im here
my eyes are baggyyyyyyy
and gosh i want to sleep
haha
but dont want to in a way
anyway, shall make some resolutions soon
:D

outs

sick =[

very sick atm
how gay..
i worked 5 days straight.. even through christmas
i think thats prolly why
ahah
but good money during christmas and boxing day :D
im getting too carried away with money now :(

but yea.. :( sick now

my day off today..
and just home lying in bed..
ahah

anyway i hope some new shit comes soon
parties/outings
w/e
lol
lifes getting preh lame now..
cant wait till 2009
and i had a think about this..
all of 2008 was just random dramas for me
and that i pulled through 2008
im feel very achieveful.. (if thats word)

lifes life..

i had many thoguhts throughout the past 3-4 days..

the first thing..
ive been going out alot, meeting up with friends alot, but i also been working alot..
but the thing is, ive been missing out on alot of outings, and
it hit me.. that this will be the last days/times we will actually be togeher, and hang as a big group..
like after the new years eve party.. or after new years, and when uni starts..
we wont be much together anymore.., there wont be those wild nights out, wont see some of the many funny people drunk, or see the funny things happen to people
its actaully quite sad :(
things will definitely drift, by the looks of it..
ah.. i shall cherish these moments
im gonna miss some of you's
really, and not in a gay way .

secondt hing..
university..
where will i be?
where do i go?
wll my parents are kool with things now, we are starting to be normal again, and trying to help much on my situation.
where will i be in 10 years time?
will i be the same guy.. doing the same job,
or will i be someone new, in a profession..
ahh it makes me so emo
oh well :(

---

these past few days have been preh kool..
last friday saturday and sunday was just work work and work..
preh normal shiet..
but on saturday.. finished work and got changed.. then went to the city..
went carols in the domain
man it was wierd shiet.., and crowded..
but the fireworks were exciting..
it brought up some things of the 'end oft he year' theme.. even though it wasnt end of the year..
many of the 2008 memories came flying by.. and wow, i made it through..

after that.. i went ushans house and slept over.
and the gay thing.. ushan put me and richard in a double bed
and he was doing gay shit to me.. yuck..
but yea. at night we had a d-n-m..
funny with him and this carmen chick..
but yea .. went through alot of things..

the next morning.. caught a bus straight to work
oh man i was tired
.

monday.. went shopping for gifts for parents
and thats bout it haah
preh lame..

today.. wasj ust work..
zzzz.

---

today at work.. they put on christmas carols through the airport speakers
man it made me sad..
it actually reminded me of my childhood and christmas
we use to be together as a family, and it was basically the same every year back then..
it was such good times. like, the little things that really made me happy, the fake santa stockings, with lollies in it, which i really waited for santa to come..,
my dad singing christmas carols to me
i dunno,, so many things..
but listening to carols really made me sad
so much has changed now..
i got work on christmas day..
my parents are just.. i dunno,
very lame, like christmas doesnt exist..
ahhh fuck i miss the old times

new years is gonna be even sadder
2008 is over
and all that we've/i've been through

oh well,
life moves on.

sixty something.

well what a hectic week its been.
im glad and dissapointed at the same time.

recounts:
monday.. - well, basically.. chilled at home..
went city with nics in the arvo.. nd thats basically it
tuesday.. - woke up at 5AM and met with bill/stephen nd kelvin to go paintball
fekk it was preh good, painful though lol
got shot in liek a 1m range.. and i have this huge bruise, which is also scarred.. and it was bleeding on the day
argh
and i have shit all over my back! lol
anyway, afte rpaintball .. the guys drove back, and stopped at maccas.. where these white boys in BMW's wanted to start shit with us..
just as chris was about to do something.. they drove themselves off..
lol! .

then headed back..

and a little incident.. where john hit the back of chris's car accidentally
it was kinda weird.. and was a lil worried for both of them
lucky it was a red light and they all reacted
and it was a small dent, so it was alrite

went pho for lunch .. then met up with everyone else at the city to play cod5..
had jap for dinner (OMG it was so good) and then went home.
preh kool day

wednesday.. - well the HSC results day..
got my results 6AM texted to my phone
i loled and went back to sleep
estimated the UAI to be _ _ . _ _
i prefer not to type it
anyway.. i was preh cut
then went back to sleep
after that.. met up with seano and went to ushans house
preh kool bbq! :D
played some wii/bball/poker/ps2
chilled out
and after.. went to the city to
'susan's' party.. (just popped up).. @ norita

preh kool
unlimited alcohol.. nd never been to a place with so many smokers
like every 5 ppl 4 smoked
and there were more girls that smoked that guys
so strange
it was preh kool.. i got a lil off with the alco later in the night

i guess that night took my mind off my results :)
after getting kicked out at 2am.. we went darling harbour and slept/chilled there
fuken hobos i swear LOL.
harbourside.. 9 ppl just lying down there sleeping
the security came and woke us up..but went to sleep again
preh awesome night

richard was gold..
drunk and vomited his whole kebab onto the table at norita
sooooo gross..
and yea.. he was gone that night

after that.. we basically went back home at 6AM.. ready for the 'upcoming day'
thursday.. - so i slept when i got home.. at about 6:30.. and woke up at 11.. bcz ryan nd jared came over..
we chilled and played some guitar
and at night, went to desmonds dinner/18th party.
that was preh kool
"brazillian food"
interesting
then walked to this other place and had gelato
basically was a good night..

atm.. so damn tired
i received my final UAI today
cut to the max, and now finidng alternates
im disappointed, and my parents are too
but i am glad this year is over, and will look at starting something new

ill be copying something from garmons blog, because it is representing my exact feeling:

"For 12 years I've dreamt of success and something more. And although in the later years my expectations dropped a little I still retained a sense of hope. It took two seconds for me to realise that truth in my potential. My dreams are unachievable and I've nowhere left to go. My UAI is terrible and I'm feeling about as low as it is. Where did it all go wrong? How did it end up like this?

They say "it's not the end of the world" and "things'll be fine" but how the fuck should they know if they did good. I honestly expected much more from myself. Was I not committed enough? I tried, god knows I did but from what my results say it was obviously wasn't enough. I tried so hard to catch up that I didn't even understand what I was learning anymore.

So what's left for me? I didn't get into any of the courses I have a mild interest in. And if I do do something in university, it's likely I'll have little interest in it. Things are a blur and this post is so disconnected. I can't and won't enjoy my day. Perhaps it might even affect my week. I'm so happy for others. I'm envious but I'm glad they got what they got. They were rewarded for their efforts, I understand that. Congratulations to those people who got a decent score. It's disappointing to hear someone say they failed and then hear them say they got 80+. Most especially when you tell them you got a 62. And now this number here will forever be associated with my failure.

Right now, I close my eyes and imagine my whole neighbourhood, as though in every house there resides a year 12 student. And from birds' eye view I look down through their roofs. And in order they each stare at their computer screen before leaping with joy and running down to impress their parents with their UAI. This happens for about 10 houses before it gets to mine. I stare at my mark and put down the laptop before sitting on the side of my bed holding my head in my hands. And the camera moves onto the next house. Another satisfied student.

It doesn't feel like the world but it does feel like the end of my life. This is first thing in my entire life that I have ever regretted. This moment in my life I will never look back on and laugh. How I wish just to be someone else right now, anyone in this world. Just so long as I don't have to deal with the pain and anguish. Even lying in my bed trying to sleep hurts me. My chest feels heavy as if I'm about to cry but I don't. I can't. I won't." - Garmon

Thanks garmon.

awesome.

anyways outs

results soon

now resorting to weekly blogging
i guess i havent been bothered to blog much now days

monday to wednesday was just work.. work work work
usual shiet.. and missed bball on wednesday when veryone went
ushan richard and alvin bummed at my place that day.. till like 12 when i had to leave

thursday.. went on a spending spree
omg.
intended to spend like 100 dollars.. but spend like 250
stupid impulse buying.. i was only gonna buy another remote so i can play with friends.. but there was just so much shit around the store..
anyway bough
-wii remote
-wii nunchuck
-wii zapper
-house of the dead 2 & 3
-wii points card

so thats thursday
friday..
sean came over?
lol basically bummed the whole day..
played like 6 horus of wii
nd guitar jammed
chilled
and yea.. random day killer

saturday
got a call from a interested web client
and yea, asked me to do a business proposal for their website nd web marketing
so yea, i had to do a presentation, make handouts, make powerpoint, datasheets, information..
and lol! i started the night before..
procrastinator to the max :(
anyway, it was convincing
luckily there was only 2 guys listening to me, and they were quite slow with comptuers

and so, i landed the deal, for 800 bux.. signed the contract that ill do the whole job
i guess its not that bad, but 800 bux for such a big website, is cheap
it should be lik 3-4 K plus ahaha
and its like 5 weeks work?
not full time btw.. prolly only like 30-40 minutes a day job sort of thing
but yea i was preh happy that i got that

nxt up, caught a train to flemington..
met up with garmon/jas/sean/chris/billyn
and chris drove us to homebush.. then caught a train to the city?
thn LOL.. played 4 hours of COD..
and viray/leith/david nd shit were there
damn im shit at those games now.. get headaches
firstperson shooting
argh!

lol

turning wuss now

after that.. had KFC and went home

it was like 10 already

mann it was a random day

anyway today.. was just boring
played wii.. watched the dark knight on computer.. and nothing else?
fucken boring
trying to findt things to do now
and same with tomorrow

anyway, outs

the past 5 days

updation
well this is prolly just a recount
and the blog was rquested by alvin?.. bcz he was bored lol!

i guess i should blog, its been a while.

wednesday and thursday was just work work work. wake up in thee morning, get dressed and work.. come home at 10, slp,etc..
preh lame eh..
friday.. had a day off.. prh relaxing..
i got a wii game "battle of the pacific".. got bored of it after a while..haha
and the game was created by the "history channel"
wtf! ..
but first person shooting

so yea that..
then at night.. 24 the movie premiere was on.. watched that.. till 11 haha

saturday.. fuck
had work at 5 AM.. got up at 3 LOL!
dad drove me to rockky and caught the 400

oh dang.. it was hard, i was so drowsy..
then FUCKEN funny
i had 2 missed calls from richard from "12:30 AM"
so i decided to be a dickhead and text him back at 5am
and he replied "hey go on msn"
i wtfed to th max
and laughed my ass off

so yea, he was lik, lets go luna park.. even more randomer
and so i finished my shift at 2 PM.., then my relatives picked me up to go to their place.. which was extremely close to ushans house..
went to ushans instead, and got a change of clothes..
and went to luna park!!
LOL!!!!
i was piss tired at that stage.
so caught a bus to city with ushan, met richard halfway through the bus trip.. thn met sean at the city.

and went to luna park..
went on most of the scary rides..
and thats bout it..
after that it was getting a lil late, so we caught bus back to city and went darling harbour
pancakes at the rocks
ZOMG it was good.. and i got so full

we lined up 20 minutes for that restarant
anyway, had that, and went back to the station at about 11
and guess what
sunday morning work at 5AM again
wake up at 3
etc
GG
and yes, i am here atm, DEAD.
sean came over after i finished work today..
jammed on the guitar..
played for lucy and priss over the internt/phone

and chilled..
had dinner and he left..
i spent the last 4 and a half hours on th computer
really got nothing to say
im bombarded with work/shit

taking my leave next wednesday, for a week
oh yea baby..
6 days of ultimat freedom..
looking at going interstate or something for that tim period

lol!

oh and rsults
10 more days
im gonna FUCKEN jump off a cliff
thats all thats been on my mind
oh well


anyways, im outs.

damn its starting to hit me

had a talk with huy
and guess whwat
results come in 15 days
FUCK

im feeling really shit bout this whole thing now
i mean how.. am i gonna react..
esp after the shit tests and results i been gettting
i already got cut from the rankings that were released a few days ago
it was all like 5-6th last
highest was like 6th last
jesus..

then when i get my result
ill be like
fuck
and my parents will be put down to the max
argh
gotta work out something..
arghhh

yestrerday.. went pool in the arvo with sean/bill/alison
and we won gaha :D
nd..
cruise last night was preh kool.. chilled.. danced.. food?
and yea preh gold haha
richard.. walking up to random chicks
hey wanna see my penis?
then asks steve if he wants to swim
nd fuk he looked drunk lol!!

but meh
some things didnt go very well on the cruise.. some ppl are just bitchy i guess
grahhhhhhhh
fuck

nyway i got work again tomorrow..
5 day weeks
but next week.. from thursday on i got 6 days off
its my leave haha
taken out already..
couldnt take more of this shit
prolly gonna quit after a few more weeks
might be going into teaching piano or something
45 per hour
jeeeeebus

anyway outs

the tiresome days

well basically
last 3 days were work!!
fuck haha
friday morning was preh kool
my dad took me to hurstii and bought the wii :D
got a free game with it.. the mario olympic games? LOL
but yea fuk wiis awesome
loving it
then in the arvo went to work. did the same old shit... boring now days.. got home at 10 and slept
same shit next day haha
work..
played wii in the momrining.
today was a lil fked though
i had the morning shift.. 5AM..
gg to the max haha
so did that.. then yea.. got home and slept
bought a HD cable for wii
preh good quality now..

going MRSKY cruise tomorrow.. yay :|

but yea, 2 more days off. then the hwole week of work starts again on wedesnday..

zzzzzzz
outs

party

so yea basically
it was a mad party :)
we met up at coles in the morning.. bought like 110 dollars worth of shit.. and trolleyed it to my place ..
then had the bbq
didnt start off well though.. as willy/ushan were having an argument over the phone.. bcz ducky was with ushan the whole time and wanted to tag along
but overall it was kool, he ddint end up coming..
so we had a bbq.. played tennis.. chilled
then after we went sauna-ing!
ahaha so gay.. like 9 of us (guys) in the sauna.. sweating like pigs..
THEN jumped into the freezing poool
oh dang that was painful
so yea.. had some fun.. then went and played poker and chilled in the spa..

at night.. everyone came upstairs and had dinner and pokered

thoguht everyone left after.. leaving me/philp/willy/swong nd roger..
played poker all night.. and
played this water/big2 game..
loser drinks 2 cups of water.. and has to last timme 5 AM
haha fuck me and willy lost it.. and yea..
we had to drink philips mix of shit..
sweetchilisauce/frenchdressing/raweggs/coke/oj/nacho sauce
FUCK it was disgusting
oh well ahha

it was preh kool
had an awesome 2 days

and fuk.. those are the only 2 days off work
got work tomrorow
im doing 5 days now fekk
but working as teamleader.. because after i left to do my HSC.. most ppl resigned and we have a whole heap of new people..
now that im back.. i know most of the shit.. so now im the supervisor of the new group ahha
higher pay nd etc :D

so preh awesome
working heaps though.. getting kinda tiring

i guess im not going anywhere now..
probably work/work/work and 2 days off
a week
ggggggg

outt

hmm the day

i guess nothing much happened
had work today..
tired?.. meh

having a party tomorrow
and guess wat, its ruined again because i know ppl are gonna crash

and neon
he calls me
WITHOUT saying hi, without saying hello
"why the fuck wasnt i invited"
who thef uck does he think he is
some kingshit?
get the fuck out.
and explained . that this party is an exact party from 2005, same list of 12 ppl.
which was EXACTLY what i did, invited the same 12, do the same thing
but their minds are so hung up over having a fucken party, and being invited or not
neon especially.

oh well im expecting dipshits to crash,

fuck it
some ppl are just complete faggots

im gonna sleep.

well a few things
i am still pissed at this dickhead
he was one of the guys that got drive to the formal by my dad
but okay, he forgets his ticket quarter of the way through, my dad drives him back and gets his ticket. my dad gets a lil pissed bout it. great.
then next morning, we all wake up from rogers party, he had a taxi ready, and hejust fucks himself off and goes, 'find your own way home'.
well i dont know what other ppl think of this, but what i see is totaly dickheadness
my dad drives him round alot, like from city a few times, that ruse cruse, and all that.
think ur too good for ppl?, up ur ass?.. ive been seeing alot of things in that fucker, ever since the start of the year..
like he use to come over alot and yea, this is another scenario
i give him drinks, coke w/e
ok thats normal, ppl come over, give drinks
then when i have a drink at school, and i was PISS thirsty, he goes hey give me a sip bro.. im like nah im thirsty srsly.
and what he says "ok bro wateva.. im never giving you drinks ever again".
what do i say to that?
and like gorup outings, like esp with like us hurstiis, me sean and all that say our byes..but he just faces the other way and walks off.
take a good hard look at yourself. i know ur up urself, id rather see you jump off a cliff.

oh and u forgetting your formal ticket?, funnny that u started blaming sean or other ppl. your not the king of this world. funny how u started calling sean dog because u missed signout day too. what is sean meant to do? tell you everysingle fucking thing?, and then you start blamign sean?, this is ur own organisation, signout day is the most important day of the school. well yea. blaming other ppl is the easy way out, i do know. i can blame anything on anyone. i can blame people for pissing my dad off too.

i block deleted him and hope to never associated with dipshits like that ever again.

anyway.. had a rough day at work too
one of the bogans got fired on the spot.. preh funny..
turns up to work drunk?.. well thats hilarious.
anyway, it was preh shit
on my lunch break..
random bogans come up to me..
HEY its the bonfire guy
i have no fucking idea how they know, maybe its my name tag or w/e, but it pisses me off
then theyre like
hey SCHOOLIES brahhh schoolies.. u fucking working now huh?
and u know, its alright if it was bogans from our school
but this wasnt
it was complete randoms.

im really getting hammered and i feel like shit

oh wells.

gnitiez.

ultra mega

meh what week its been!
so after the aftermath of that formal and afterparty.. things started cooling down
slept all wednesday morning..fking tired..
and ahha my date was still at my house
i didnt even remember
but anyway, she left like after i woke up.. been doign shifty things on my computer

so basically rested on wednsday..
thursday.. stayed at home.. went to tom lees hosue at night
got my gibson lespaul from him
ahah taking care of that sexy lil baby.. while hes in corea
getting strings changed nd all that.
got 4 guitars at home now.. my rooms gettin small.
friday..chilled at home again! and.. went out for dinner? ahha
nothing much at all
saturday.. well.. got a new pair of Avies! haha
preh slick.. went out for lunch nd thats bout it
sunday.. went to watch a movie .. quantum of solace
pfffff wat sort of movie was thaT!
didnt get it.. oh well

totally shizz and emo now.. when u like a girl, but the girl has this piss off sort of attitude.. cold attitude? agasint you.
been going through it.. but ah damn..
oh and acting all like, huh? nah im not,
yea bull shit.
oh well.

anyway i got work thiw eek
geegee. oh well.
getting a wii on wednesday
:D

off.

the formal

well it was.. okay?
lolz..
music was shit, because neonf orgot his disk LOL.
oh well
then the afterparty
alot of funny shit happened.
ppl got drunk
johnny passed out.. and ppl threw up all over him
then ushan takes a shower for him
froggy punched a hole in the wall, because he thoguht it was a black man swearing at him
etc.
preh funny shit

guess we had a fun night.
anyways out

the official end of high school

wow.. we signed out today.
probably the last time i ever go back to that place again
had a memorable day.. walked around to all teachers, signed me off, had the good lucks and yea.. basically the end. got our formal tickets and yea..
went seanos house.. chilled.. then he came over
preh random day actually.

last friday.. frank came over in the morning.. played a bit of guitar/record and yea chilled out
then at night we went on this so called 'outing' to a house party
and LOL it was a christian party, which i did realise before hand, but still went bcz they all did, but ended up coming out like 10 minutes later
it was fken funny
all ended up going city.. for net cafe ahahah

saturday
got my suit for the formal/haircut and the call for a shift on sunday morning.

sunday
went back to work.
it was fucked up.
i walk in, the whole team changed.. all new people.
it really has changed that much in 5 months
preh scary. im wokring with all new people now.
same position as team leader/supervisor, but harder to talk to?.. lol dunno
things feel different
a whole heap of ppl were sacked during my leave time, and many resigned.
that kinda scares me
oh well.

when i got home,, was piss tired and went to sleep.

omg formal tomorrow.
worried worried worried.
stressing.
wats shit is andrew ta says
there is no video/no schedule/no cake/no speeches/no awards/no organised things.
now thats fucked up. and i blame both andrew and our year.
its gonna be a shit night
and wats fucked is that tables were randomly generated bczc ppl ddint bring in table lists
but i guess im fine haha, luckily put onto a table.
tomorrow night is gonna be shit and i can see it already.

outs.

blow it over

this whole thing should blow over soon
its not as easy as expected.
article gets published
things spread
principal calls me in
police station calls me
media on my ass
danger of getting myself bonfire
its so fucked right now
the article is like all over aus now.. bris/mel/canberra/ etc
and TODAY
fuck.
singtao newspaper writees shit about me
translates that smh article into chinese
and makes it sound twice as bad
my dads going to look into this and probably screw these guys over/sue them
i never gave consent to them to do a report
they cant just do whatever they want
im copping so much shit from family friends/random asians in hurstville
its like im a shit image now
to their kids who are studying.

fuck it all.

sick

so monday.. i wake up and gosh
i was sick
itchy throat
everything
argh!!, felt like shit
ayway finished up cleaning my room/books and etc.
was gonna go froggys.. but was like.. drowsy
and yea ended up with a fever when the night came

tuesday..
mum woke me at 6:00.. and said i was int he newspaper
rofl..
and so i was.. then went online
my face ont he front page.. for half the day
so douche
and it was a shit article.. made me look like crap.

the day throughout were just phonecalls..
channel 9, a current affair, and a variety of media and event copmanies
decided to ignore all that and went to johnny house
haha FIRST TIME i ever tasted real pho
oh my god it was like.. orgasmic!
anyway.. jammed a bit, fixed his virus..
and yea.. lol
preh boring

i got a big day tomorrow
ms lyons calls me and goes
"victor, we need to talk"
and i was like
FUCK.

tomorrow, im going channel 9 hq, probaby do the interview there or something
then afte.r. i dunno
its a big week

anyways out.

drained

ahha
went to allans music today .. with sean and jared
i bought a new pedal
oh mannnnnn its so damn good
all analogue sound, so everythings natural
the sound is like sooo damn awesome
$355 dollars
bought johnnys lead
and yea..
sean got his acoustic and so did jared
preh kool

basically jamemd all arvo

thoguh now im starting to feel like shit
the event failed, and yea, im gonna be dead with the amout of ppl that are gonna send emails/hate mail.
bruce wants to buy my formal ticket, but i dont know if i shoudl sell or not, thoguh i dont have a formal date atm
fuck!, so im in the middle of everything lol!
im starting work on wednesday.. because ive been off for 4 months and still emplyed and the headoffice said i have to start or im going to be terminated..
and argh
so stressful atm
i have no formal suit, no formal transport
anything ahha
my heads spinning
anyways out.

yay

meh..
friday.. was preh boring
cleaning up my room and etc.
then james drove by and drove me to aquatic.. and watched that alias game vs some blakehurst team
ohhh man so close, but techies lost :(
then james drove me home again..
that killed like an hour.. so random lol
saturday..
preh kool day
went to allans music with jared.., big sale there
so hes buying an acoustic i think and im buying an effects processor
oh mannn im in love with it
360 bux. and i think they're selling to like 295 or something
then had lunch at 'wagamama'
oh man it was expensive, but orgasmic!!.. chicken teryaki with rice
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh baby.. anyway
going to allans again tomrowo with jared, and sean,.. whos going to start guitaring too
ahha, funny how convincing i was.
"hey man, get a guitar tomororw, its on sale, preh cheap"
"you wont be bored these holdiays either"
and hes like
fuck ok why not :D
so random
but yea
so going there again.. gonna spend some money.

anyways out

procrastination - really

haha procrastination still lies here, even though i finished exams
now it involves cleaning up my books, storing notes away, and yea.. cleaning up the mess.. which doesnt seem to be happening
argh!!
i tried, for like 45 minutes, and got like
sneezy/drowsy bcz of all the dust
and went to sleep again
so weird
watched some movies and played max payne
today however, i did the same thing, tried cleaning the room, except the journalists came over.. to talk about that facebook thing
haha
and took pictures of me like all over the house, even though they only need one pic
random
shoudl be published this saturday.. if not then enxt monday
at night.. went to star city buffet.
it was preh good, but i prolly only ate like $5 of the 30 dollars
bcz i dont eat prawns
fuk ppl had moutainfulls of prawns
after that.. the 18;s went for a few rounds inside the casino.. nd we waited
then walked to cityhunter and played games
nd then went home.. which was fuckin shit bcz we wnated to play pool

and rofl.. francis .. you read my blog :@

anyway, out.

another hectic week

just going to recap.. and state the excitement! of.. finishing the FUCKING HSC
oh fucking baby
anyway,
last thursday: studied in the morning?.. then in the arvo.. went to city and met up wtih aaron ngan.. and went to a UTS interview.. (it was a journalist) for the uni=student something.. but w/e.. got that over wtih, and went back home.. then at like 10 in the night.. smh calls me and does the interview.. how random, tried getting to him the whoel day.. but he 'starts work' at 9 in the night
how strange.
last friday: stayed home.. and.. had tutoring at 5
yea.. it was geting close.. so we did some physics, got update
saturday/sunday: at home 'supposedly' studying.. but nah
monday: stayed at home.. then went library.. tried studying.. until nic nd e came..
tuesday: well this is the day!!
did my physics exam.. then fucked it.. but hey, the hapiness of finishing HSC overpowered that sadness.
so kelvin came over, chilled
then nic and e came.. messed up my fuckin ghouse.. THEN stephen / jason / khai tan
anyway.. it was preh fun
we left at like 5 for the city
first met ppl at central
then went poker! and list $10.00
lol!, i guess i suck now days..
it was preh fun
and omg that place, alias or jason spilled some sort of tomatosauce on their couch.. the guy was like, you guys are idiots for byo, we sell food, we might charge you extra blah blah.. and i was scared omg.. mainly because it was upstairs of somewhere in chinatown, and that guy looked gangster.. scary stuff :(
so then i was bored.. so jason and i went upstairs to marketcity and played some airhockey.. until the firealarm went off
sooooo damn loud.. then fire engines nd shit started coming... preh random
so went back to the poker place to see the progress of raymond eric and bond..
shit game
then after we went dinner in chinatown and met up with johncho/ware/chris
and went pool
MADDEST place.. had heaps of fun..
stayed till like 12.. and got home

then it struck me...
the END of HSC..
the fucking up of physics.. the day the results come.. the day i see my UAI, the day i choose uni/tafe.. or the day i just fail..
made me emo all night
:(
i also feel the fact, that i might not see 80% of the ppl again from school
argh its so sad...
everything started going throguh my mind....
then stresses.. theres 2 more weeks till formal too LOL
i havent got a suit, i havent got a date, i havent bothered doing anything for the formal

anyway, gonna start checking off my
"AFTER HSC MUST DO" list
theres 46 things on there
so anyway ttyl blog
:D

hectic.. not

no really. everything is fucked up right now.
recap of the two *hectic* weeks
last tuesdsay: went to kogarah library with desmond, and wtf, see sean, willy tt, mitchell, benny nd korlab. studied like a tiny bit?.. the whole session was a joke, andt he fking 4uniters were laughing at me doing 2 unit. douchebag tot he max!. like okay, i forgot to put the calculator in degree mode instead of radians, and i got a strange answer like 1 degree, on a triangle that looks normal. and they wer like rofl.
had tutoring that day aswell, so got back to hurstii and went..
last wednesday: stayed at home trying to study maths.. oh well.
last thursday: well, made a lie to my parents, and went to the city, and met with 'event organisers'.. after seeing how that facebook shit turned out. it was one of those board room thingies, and a big round table, with leathery chairs all around it, and we discussed various issues. nd agree to do it at darling harbour with liek fireworks nd shit. and wow, they offered a job position after hsc, for marketing/databasing.
okay all happy. the worst shit comes later, will be said.
friday: went to school with desmond, did alot of music work, and foold around a bit with music. then after went dougies, and library.., and played the comptuer? rofl.., and then sean and his friends were there.. we competed in a maths paper. funny.
weekend: basically stayed at home and did jack?, tried study maths. but fully got drifted away.
monday: maths exam. had a headache,badmood,hayfever,box of tissues on the table. i oculdnt concentrate. i was sitting there feeling liek shit, and tried writing and doing quesitons. i ended up being not bothered. fuck, and 3 hours just went by. really felt like shit. after that, got some food and studied music.., which then came up, and argh!, that was fucked up.. it was like crazily wtf. it was all analyse this analyse that, listen to this, and analyse that. prolly got like 30% literally, which then scales my compostion and performance down. this was the most important exam. fuck!.
jordan drove me home later that day.., very fucking depressed.
tuesday: stayed home all day and supposedly "studying". oh well
wednesday: went to work with parents, helped out with some important things.. then came back home.. didnt do any work again. i got tired and went to sleep, and now im up at 2:15 AM. proly go sleep again.
now the fucked up about today was when i called the event organisers. they offered me the best shit witht he bonfire. the event grew from like 150 people to 8100 people, and yes, they were gonna make it a huge event for nsw. now they call me up saying they didnt agree to anything, didnt sign anything, they dont want the bonfire event under their name, and the event isnt 'feasible'. i got so pissed at that guy. their company is full of bullshit. argh. now im stuck here with nothing. like waht the fuck? they call me up going, hey the agent of sneaky sound system said yes, then again, we can do for $30.00 per person, and fed me with all this good bullshit. now they pull out.
i sent out invites to all 8000 people, and now what?, im fucked. im gonna be the biggest bullshitartist alive. i should just run away from australia..,
i got two interviews tomorrow, one with a smh journalist, and another with a UTS student, whos doing first year journalism who wants an insight to this whole thing. what can i say.. this hwole thing was a publicity stunt, and wont hppen. im in deep shit right now. the event organisers said if i mention their company in any manner not appropriate, i will get sued.
FUCK.
my whole days been killed.. this whole thing is fucked up.
fucked up.
stupidest shit alive, wtf am igonna do
this is bullshit
its depressing, but okay.
the thing now is im gonna get a lawyer and declare this bonfire intellectual property. no fucking asshole, especially the company like that, take advantage of this and make money off it next year.
im in the shittest position ever, my mind is spinning.
fuck fuck fuck.

i don't know what im gonna do
i wont be doing anything after hsc except sulk.
fucking bullshit.. everything

physics.. hahh.real funny
20%, just like all the other tests
my uai is gone already

out.

lol@english

its the end of english
i have it in a pile now, in the corner of my room
ready for the bonfire

went okay, considering the amout of study i did.
made up a related text on the spot, becuase douchbags decided to ask for two
oh well,

i had a rough night last night
i used my report marks to type into the UAI calculator
i got 53.85
cut to eh max
really, if i get that low
im gonna do many stupid things
probaby run away from home
join the navy
or something stupid, but not suicide
or maybe

anyway, after that english exam, everythings quite relaxing.
p[layed some bball with seano and jlin nd steve

anyways out

I have ended they journey.

wooo
haha
studied quite a bit
the day before.
wrote creative 3 tiems, and did the essay once
and yea, preh happy
BUT fuck
after that, ppl go, yea, i did twelve pages, i did a whole booklet, and etc
and im like
oops.
but i did write non stop though
amybe my writing was smaller
oh well

paper 2
now thats something im fked on

tttttttttttyls

The day has finally come

The day we've been working 12 years on.

It has come.

Tomorrow will be the first exam.. english

now the fuked thing is that, now that i have actually started studying on it.. i wish i had more fucking time!!!
i re-wrote my essays like 3 times last night, and ill try again today, memorise and all that

ahha fuk, its so stupid how i want more time now..
but i guess, if there werent this deadline, iw ouldntve have started at all..

and i did a creative on music, so i hope thatd be something different, and impress the judges.
gg.. its starting to hit me now,

oh well

i havent left the house since sunday morning.. which was for tutoring.. haha
supposedly "studying"

i finished watching the whole season of deathnote, and its first movie, during this week.
fuck!, and i didnt study

oh well, ill rely on some luck to get okay in this exam and score for a high UAI

glllllllllll

and.

haha last night.. i had this dream

scary shit..

i was at school, the back oval.. and was like playing soccer or something?

then a batch of helicopters and planes flew in.. and landed.. and there came like heaps of army/federal agent guys and started shooting at us with machine guns..

and then i looked at my finger and like.. i lost my middle finger, and looked ont he ground.. and was bleeding heaps

it was a sccary experience..

and i was like fuck am i gonna die now or something..

i felt the bullets.. it was like hard punches/pinches focused in areas of the body..

and so i read in google this morning.. it said that this may have been caused becuase of being stressed/anxious/anxiety to an upcoming event.

im guessing the HSC..

OR this could be a premonition.. this might happen..

fully random.. its strange too

anyway.. i had a preh shitstudied week..

thursday.. i went library.. for like 30 minutes and left again haha

i coudlnt concentrate at all...

it was terrible.. at the back it was full of people, and i was lucky to find myself a seat int he middle of everyone..

so goddam noisy.. everyones shouting/talking/chucking papers

so much for the "quiet room" with a big sign saying "no talking"

oh well..

so yesterday, i stayed home.. studied a bit, facebooked alot, and.. yea

today was preh much the same.. lol

6 more days till test!

ohemgee.

gonna .. go study now ;)

stressingful

sure is.

i've actually done work :D

lol
had a preh random week.
like saturday to monday.. i was basically at home.. with parents, doing work?..
and contracted a fucking virus.. that wiped most of my computer.. and my start menu/taskmanager, and all that..
oh well, not like i really need to use it.
i can type a blog, look at facebook and msn :D and maybe wordprocess, but havent tried :P

yesterday.. i went to my dads office.. helped him out.. and did some of my own work

today however was preh fun :D
ryan called us over for a "study" session..
THEN DUCKY came
"fuck study"
and so we did..
played basketball/swam/guitar/nintendo/laptop/games
ahahah
well i did like 1-2 horus of study atleast today, but 6 hours was just killed palying..

oh well
gottakeepstudying
need to get into uni!!

anyways/out

the aftermath

lol. not really

but yea, its been one dead silent week
everything seems to have died off.. communications with friends.. studying, and i dunno.. it just seems dead. its most liekly because of HSC.

haah god, another korean (who i shall not name) has caused problems with me. now ive had a shit week again. i dunno, is it me, or is it the koreans, not to be racist or anything.. its just a question.
and this fight was over the littlest thing. now he's done the "cut - off" from me, as in delete me off facebook, block me, delete me off msn, and yea, kinda fuck off thing. and the thing was, that we were preh close, for the past 2 years.

but, wateva, we said our goodbyes, and yea.

this week.. was preh random..

monday and tuesday i just stayed at home doing jackshit, 'tried' to study, but yea, ended up watching deathnote, watching some movies, and yea..
on wed and thurs, i went dads office, as he dragged me.. and yea, workd, did quite a bit of physics there, and had tutoring afterwards so i got driven.
friday.. omg so hot!! like 30degrees?, just chillin, didnt do any work, wlel couldnt anyway..
i had tutoring after, so that counts as a bit of work
today.. fucking bludgy day..
might do some work

anyway, i'm out.
glhf.